Thursday, 16 June 2011

Quick check-in

Just checking in as I realised it has been over a week since my last post. 

Still here.  Still alive.  Weight is VERY SLOWLY going down.  (But a loss is a loss!)  Flat out with work, trying to get to the gym as much as possible.

This is Week 4 of the 12WBT - "mini milestone week" - I'll be posting at the end of the week with a much longer update.

Joining some fellow 12WBTers for bowling/laser tag tomorrow night, which will be fun.  Been years since I have gone bowling!

Wednesday, 8 June 2011

Getting back into the right mindset

I posted a video on Youtube on Sunday night:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tawahNy8MFA&feature=player_embedded

I don't know what was up with me, was just feeling really down about everything.  Stressed out with work / life in general / still feeling sick and the 12WBT was just "something extra" I had to worry about.

On a positive note though I am finally starting to feel better (physically as well as mentally).  My cold is almost gone (still blowing my nose a bit more than normal but no longer thinking I'm single handily causing an increase in Kleenex's profits!)  Exercise wise I have been consistent in exercising each day, even if I haven't burnt as many calories as I would normally like:

Saturday: Personal training - 386 calories (usually burn more than this but we had an "easier" session as I was still feeling sick - i.e. it was easier than normal but I felt more dead at the end than usual!)
Sunday: Walk - 283 calories
Monday: Walk + step class - 680 calories
Tuesday: Personal training - 506 calories (what I generally burn in personal training, which I'm happy with since it is mainly strength work). 

I didn't lose any weight this week but rather than getting disheartened, I'm thinking how good it will feel when I have a loss this week (which I WILL HAVE!)

I have to go to Queensland this weekend to pick up my car (bit of a long story).  I'm flying up Saturday and driving back to Sydney over Sunday/Monday (it's a long weekend).  Trying to organise to attend the Gold Coast 12WBT bootcamp session on Sunday morning before I leave.  I'm staying in Port Macquarie on the Sunday night and have made sure the hotel has a gym I can use, so no excuses!  Now I just need to make sure I have some healthy snacks and avoid the stops and McDonalds on the drive!

About to head to Irish dancing, which I do each week.  It's not a great calorie burner (the heart rate gets up but only for short periods of time), but it's fun and I enjoy doing it, 

Friday, 3 June 2011

12WBT Recap - 2 June (Thursday Week 2)

Thursday 2 June summary
Calories in: 686
Calorie breakdown: 20% fat; 45% carbs; 35% protein
Calories out (exercise): None
Calories out (BMR): 1250
Net calorie deficit: 564

Current status: still sick and getting frustrated with lack of exercise.

Thursday, 2 June 2011

Kath's Blogging Challenge - My greatest strengths

Each week during the 12WBT - Kath (great name!) (her blog: http://www.courage2start.blogspot.com/) is running a blogging challenge.


Last week I didn't get a chance to participate, but this week I'm in!


THE CHALLENGE


"Tell me about your STRENGTHS
I WANT to know about your physical strengths.
I WANT to know about your mental strengths.
I WANT to know about the habits you have that make you strong
I WANT to know what it is about you that makes you the fighter that is inside."




MY RESPONSE
This topic struck a cord with me, because I am the type of person that if I receive a compliment, it’s always “oh thanks, BUT...” or anytime I want to say something good about myself I always feel like I should start it with “not to sound like I’m bragging”. 

I was talking to a dear friend today, and he has been trying to convince me to become a barrister (I’m currently in an academic position).  I work in a fairly specialised area of law and there is definitely great earning potential.  My reason for not doing it – lack of self-esteem - pure and simple.  I don’t think I’m good enough.  And that is really concerning because the one thing I always have thought about myself is that I am smart – so if I don’t feel I can do something because of lack of intellect, which realistically I know I’m not lacking – how can I cope with physical challenges? 

So this blogging challenge could not have come at a better time.

Physical strengths

I have overcome obstacles
I have never thought of myself as physically strong.  I was a low-birth-weight baby, suffering from jaundice.
I spent most of 2nd grade in a full body brace to correct a scoliosis.
In 5th grade, I had to go into a hip brace because my hips were out of alignment.
At 14, I started suffering from severe clinical depression.  That has been the hardest struggle of my life.  Years of up and down up and down – feeling better, but never knowing when the “black dog” would come back to haunt me.  It came back with a vengeance in 2002, 2005, and 2007 – with the 2007 downfall resulting in hospitalisation and physical scars I will carry with me for the rest of my life.  Even now, I don’t say my depression is “cured”, rather that it is “managed”.

BUT I’M A SURVIVOR. 

My 2nd grade teacher wrote on my report card that “I never complained”.
Despite my depression I finished university, and hold down a full-time and 2 part-time jobs.   
These challenges have made me a stronger person – I know what I can overcome.
I still will have physical scars, but as Ashton Kutcher said on Twitter once: “Scars are just reminders of obstacles we've overcome. Wear them proudly!”

I am fearless
I’ve jumped out of a plane at 18,000 feet (albeit with a parachute – I may be a survivor but I can’t fly!)

I am a petite powerhouse.
My boss said a few weeks ago “I had a powerful knock for such a small person”. 
During the 12WBT I will become a 4’11” powerhouse. I will not be seen as weak just because I’m short.

Mental strengths

This should be the easier part of the “blogging challenge” – my intelligence has never been something I’ve hidden – I was the type of child that would have been picked last for the softball team but first for the spelling bee.  But as I mentioned, it feels so much like I’m bragging when I talk about my mental strengths.  But sometimes we need to brag – we need to remind ourselves how good we are so we know what we can accomplish.

I am intelligent and accomplished.
I started law school at 16.  I graduated with first class honours.  I was the highest achieving student in my Masters degree.  I’m a university academic working on my PhD.

I have overcome debilitating depression.
I already mentioned in physical strengths, but I have suffered from depression since I was 14.  There have been times I have wanted to give up, and times I have tried to give up, but I have gotten myself out of it. 

 Habits

This is actually something I need to work on, so I have written some affirmations that I will say each day.

I am a strong, independent woman, who can accomplish whatever she sets her mind to.
I will stop putting other people’s needs ahead of my own.

What makes me a fighter

I have always been competitive and always wanted to succeed.

I will not let things that have happened in my past define me.

I WILL NOT GIVE UP.

New Goal - Bridge to Brisbane 2011

I had wanted to do the City 2 Surf this year but I will be in Las Vegas attending a Star Trek convention - (something you didn't know about me - I'm a Trekkie). 

The Blackmores Running Festival is on 18 September, but the Queensland Bridge to Brisbane is the week before on September 11.  I spent a large portion of my life in Queensland, and in many ways, consider myself a Queenslander at heart, even though I was born (and now am again living) in Sydney.  My old workplace always organiesd a team.  I was so unfit and unhealthy when I left my last job, part of me wants to do it to show to them how much I have changed (I'm still in touch with a lot of them).

Details on the Bridge to Brisbane can be found here:  http://www.bridgetobrisbane.com.au/

101 days to go! 

12WBT Recap - 1 June (Wednesday Week 2)

After a not great weight loss this week, I want to be more diligent about tracking calories in / calories out.

Having been sick, I haven't been eating enough (if you have had tonsillitis before you will know that every time you are hungry/thirsty it is a toss up between "how much will my throat hurt swallowing" versus "how hungry am I").  But I also haven't been exercising enough - and not eating enough is probably not helping in that regard.

Wednesday 1 June summary
Calories in: 730
Calorie breakdown: 12% fat; 65.5% carbs; 22.5% protein
Calories out (exercise): None
Calories out (BMR): 1250
Net calorie deficit: 520

Just writing this out now makes me realise how important exercise is.  Obviously 730 calories is not enough to eat in a day, but without exercise I would still only lose half a kilo a week eating this little. 

About to have some broccoli soup from the program for lunch.  Can't wait until I'm feeling better and can follow the meal plan (although only cooking for 1 there will always be some modifications).  I have been eating a lot of soup and sugar-free jelly since I've been sick! 

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

Wednesday Weigh in #2

I will post a longer post later on tonight.  Still a bit sick but a combination of antibiotics and cold and flu tablets are helping me get through the days!  Throat is a lot better but still going through Kleenex by the box load!

It is Wednesday, which means..... Weigh-in!! 

Today I was 48.6kg, which is a loss of 350g since last week. 

Obviously I would have liked that to be higher, but considering I had put on weight when I weighed myself on Monday, I am glad there is a loss at all!

Went back to the gym Monday night, struggled a bit more than usual which I know is from being sick.  Last night I went for a 5km walk/jog/run - as I had wanted to do a longer "time trial".  Surprisingly, I did the 5km in 31:59 - faster than I expected.  I did still walk quite a bit, but I walk quite quickly and when I jog/run I actually run quite fast.  Over the course of the 12WBT though I want to get into a more consistent jogging pattern.

Today I have Irish dancing, think that will be it for the exercise today.  Work tomorrow night so will get to the gym in the morning - don't usually go Thursday mornings so just debating whether to do a class or some cardio (have PT on Friday so don't want to do weights).