Kath's Blogging Challenge - My greatest strengths

Each week during the 12WBT - Kath (great name!) (her blog: http://www.courage2start.blogspot.com/) is running a blogging challenge.


Last week I didn't get a chance to participate, but this week I'm in!


THE CHALLENGE


"Tell me about your STRENGTHS
I WANT to know about your physical strengths.
I WANT to know about your mental strengths.
I WANT to know about the habits you have that make you strong
I WANT to know what it is about you that makes you the fighter that is inside."




MY RESPONSE

This topic struck a cord with me, because I am the type of person that if I receive a compliment, it’s always “oh thanks, BUT...” or anytime I want to say something good about myself I always feel like I should start it with “not to sound like I’m bragging”. 

I was talking to a dear friend today, and he has been trying to convince me to become a barrister (I’m currently in an academic position).  I work in a fairly specialised area of law and there is definitely great earning potential.  My reason for not doing it – lack of self-esteem - pure and simple.  I don’t think I’m good enough.  And that is really concerning because the one thing I always have thought about myself is that I am smart – so if I don’t feel I can do something because of lack of intellect, which realistically I know I’m not lacking – how can I cope with physical challenges? 

So this blogging challenge could not have come at a better time.

Physical strengths

I have overcome obstacles

I have never thought of myself as physically strong.  I was a low-birth-weight baby, suffering from jaundice.

I spent most of 2^nd grade in a full body brace to correct a scoliosis.

In 5^th grade, I had to go into a hip brace because my hips were out of alignment.

At 14, I started suffering from severe clinical depression.  That has been the hardest struggle of my life.  Years of up and down up and down – feeling better, but never knowing when the “black dog” would come back to haunt me.  It came back with a vengeance in 2002, 2005, and 2007 – with the 2007 downfall resulting in hospitalisation and physical scars I will carry with me for the rest of my life.  Even now, I don’t say my depression is “cured”, rather that it is “managed”.

BUT I’M A SURVIVOR. 

My 2^nd grade teacher wrote on my report card that “I never complained”.

Despite my depression I finished university, and hold down a full-time and 2 part-time jobs.   

These challenges have made me a stronger person – I know what I can overcome.

I still will have physical scars, but as Ashton Kutcher said on Twitter once: “Scars are just reminders of obstacles we've overcome. Wear them proudly!”

I am fearless

I’ve jumped out of a plane at 18,000 feet (albeit with a parachute – I may be a survivor but I can’t fly!)

I am a petite powerhouse.

My boss said a few weeks ago “I had a powerful knock for such a small person”. 

During the 12WBT I will become a 4’11” powerhouse. I will not be seen as weak just because I’m short.

Mental strengths

This should be the easier part of the “blogging challenge” – my intelligence has never been something I’ve hidden – I was the type of child that would have been picked last for the softball team but first for the spelling bee.  But as I mentioned, it feels so much like I’m bragging when I talk about my mental strengths.  But sometimes we need to brag – we need to remind ourselves how good we are so we know what we can accomplish.

I am intelligent and accomplished.

I started law school at 16.  I graduated with first class honours.  I was the highest achieving student in my Masters degree.  I’m a university academic working on my PhD.

I have overcome debilitating depression.

I already mentioned in physical strengths, but I have suffered from depression since I was 14.  There have been times I have wanted to give up, and times I have tried to give up, but I have gotten myself out of it. 

 Habits

This is actually something I need to work on, so I have written some affirmations that I will say each day.

I am a strong, independent woman, who can accomplish whatever she sets her mind to.

I will stop putting other people’s needs ahead of my own.

What makes me a fighter

I have always been competitive and always wanted to succeed.

I will not let things that have happened in my past define me.

I WILL NOT GIVE UP.